I Wonder "But How?" - Valerie Peyton Kingsbury

As I sit to the computer this morning and prepare to write my reflection there are many things running around in my head. It has been a couple of heavy weeks since I returned from vacation – heart attack, cancer diagnosis, pregnancy issues, other illnesses, and a couple of deaths. As I reflected on this earlier in the week I could hear my friend Donna’s voice ( Donna is one of the people who died this week and with whom I have been journeying for a little while) say

“Psalm 46 has been my companion on this journey”.

In Psalm 46 we read these words “God is my refuge and my strength a very present help in times of trouble”

I Wonder “But How?”

I thought about these words and found myself wondering “but how?”

How is this thing we call God able to provide us with strength and comfort and peace?

Now you might be wondering why I, an ordained minister in the church, would be grappling with a question such as this. After all, this is what I live and breathe. It is what I try to communicate in a variety of ways every day. However, even for me, there are times I still wonder.

There are times when I struggle to see the sense in the things that are going on around me. There are times when the presence of the Divine seems very far away and even absent. And when there are multiple things happening that seem to be unjust or just plain wrong, when there are people around me who are suffering and it makes no sense, even I have those moments of uncertainty and I wonder where God is in the midst of this. I wonder….

Strength, Comfort and Peace

Then, more often than not, something happens! Something that lifts the veil and speaks to my soul in such a way that the sacred is tangible and real. These are the moments that remind me of a power and energy in the universe, which people call by many names, that is indeed a comfort and strength. This presence is something that weaves into your very being.

Yesterday, into the midst of these two weeks of not so good stuff, came such a moment. We drove to Woodstock to check in with our daughter, Terri, and to visit for the afternoon. I was given the most amazing gift! It was very hot by mid-afternoon so my grandson and I walked down to the river for some cooling off time and some water play. For two hours I stepped out of the everyday world and was invited into a world where rocks became boats and horses and best friends, sticks became rafts, grass became homes for the water people, little fish became whales. Laughter, imagination and story became the order of the day. Divine presence was there in every word, in every moment of laughter and in the times of silence. It was a sacred time and I indeed felt comfort, strength and peace.

This morning I sit at my computer to compile my thoughts and find myself in the midst of another one of these ‘moments’. The window in my office is open and outside a young girl is painting. Her voice lifts through the air and into my office. What I hear is this

“I love my daddy. My daddy is the greatest. I love my daddy.”

In a tune of her own creating and in the words of her heart she brings a lift to my spirit and a smile to my lips. It is a sacred time and I feel strength and comfort and peace.

So how is, what many call God, present and able to bring strength? Exactly like this.

May it be so for you.

Blessings
Valerie